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Le 01/02/2006 - 04:26

Longtemps, adolescent, je me suis demandé : “mais quel est mon secret pour que les femmes soient toutes dingues de moi ?”. Hé oui, l’adolescence, l’âge où l’on se pose des questions existentielles…

Une fois adulte, si la question se pose encore, la réponse me semble assez lointaine de mes réflexions pubères. Disons que j’ai découvert, tout à fait par hasard, la réponse universelle à la question que tous les hommes du monde se sont posés au moins une fois dans leur vie :

Comment être sûr de pouvoir tomber les gonzesses ?

La réponse était évidente, sous nos yeux. Ecrite en blanc sur noir avec des reflets bleus ! Parce que je ne suis pas chien, que je professe un humanisme du partage et que je n’ai encore aucun moyen de vous faire payer puisque mon appareil à carte bleue ne fonctionne pas, je vous livre ci-dessous ce secret ancestral, qui se passe de texte explicateur, d’après le service marketing.

Notez le “femme au carré”. Comprenez : si vous vous lavez et vous vous parfumez au AXE, vous pourrez enfin assouvir votre fantasme de vous taper deux bonnes femmes en bikini. A moins que l’exponentiation ne soit une façon détournée pour indiquer “l’équivalent de deux femmes minces = une grosse” ?

Evidemment, j’ai prévu le cas où ma femme achèterait un autre déodorant. J’ai fait un stock. Avec la gomina.

Classé dans Tout et rien | - [Imprimer] |

14 commentaires

1

caelle nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 04:16 []

tu ne peux pas mettre un message à 4h26, il est 4h16.
2

Tant-Bourrin nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 05:46 []

Tu n’as pas bien déchiffré le message : avec une douche et un pschhhht d’Axe, tu attire les femmes CARRÉES !!! En d’autres termes, les femmes de 1m65 de haut sur 1m65 de large…
3

Saoulfifre nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 07:41 []

Il me semble que l’équation indique qu’il lui met la tête au carré, à sa femme, car elle l’a trompé pendant la période où il ne mettait pas de déodorant… Ça y est : tout va bien, maintenant…
4

sandra nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 08:00 []

dis-donc tant-bourrin et caelle vous étes d’une précision maniaque sur cette note qui est plus fastoche à lire que des sondages… je vous comprends pas restez calmes quand vous lisez…
Alors heu heu comme il est 7H59 je vais prendre mon banania (j’ai 40 ans c’est mon secret en fait de jeunesse) heu, heu, la femme est en maillot de bain sur le bidule machin de notice.

Pourquoi ????
5

Bakemono nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 09:07 []

Les pubs axe sont nulles à chier je trouve. Perso, je préfère l’odeur naturelle d’un homme (qui se lave régulièrement bien sûr).
6

Epictete nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 10:59 []

Mes phéromones, c’est Axe à la puissance 1000.
7

Sébastien nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 14:41 []

Je me posais la question inverse. Comment ça se fait que toutes les nanas ne soient pas folles de moi ? Même qu’elles m’évitent quand il fait chaud.

Je viens de trouver la réponse, je n’ai jamais mis de déo.

Merci Byalpel
8

Pascal nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 15:06 []

Vous avez tous super mal vu:
#1…Mettre son AXE…SOUS la douche…et je ne sais pas si vous avez vu la taille du déodorant mais la pulvérisation doit s’apparenter à un décapage en règle
#2: Faire un S en gonflant le biceps
et la, rêve ultime…c’est deux gonzesses!
9

tristan nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 15:54 []

D’accord avec Pascal, j’avais vu la même chose et m’apprétait à l’écrire.
Il paraît important de noter qu’il faut réaliser tout ça avec une houpette sur la tête à la Tintin.
Par contre j’aime bien les pubs axe… elle sont simples, et tellement décalées… comme si les femmes aimaient vraiment les déodorants de joueurs de foot.
Personne ne porte du Axe au moins hein ?
10

chimene nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 16:27 []

Je suppose que le fait que ce soit un petit dessin signifie qu’on n’a pas besoin de savoir lire pour emballer.Par contre, c’est con pour les aveugles.
11

Byalpel nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 16:37 []

caelle >> hé hé, tu peux programmer tes posts. Tu crois tout de même pas que j’écris à 4h26 ??

TB >> Dans ce cas, c’est une femme qui manque de profondeur…

SF >> C’est vrai qu’il n’y a que la tête au carré, pas le corps. Et tu peux en même en profiter quand elle est inconsciente par terre (je déconne, messieurs les flics)

Sandra >> Ah 40 ans, l’âge de raison…

Bakemono >> Ben c’est mon problème : comme je ne me lave pas régulièrement, je m’asperge de Axe

Epictete >> Marrant, c’est ce que disent tous les violeurs.

Seb >> Je veux pas te faire de peine hein, mais je ne suis pas totalement sûr qu’il n’y a que le déo (ça, c’est pour le sondage )

Pascal >> Merde, voilà pourquoi ça marche pas ! J’ai pas gonflé les biceps et j’ai fait un Z !

Tristan >> Ah les cons qui mettent du Axe. Me rappelle la pub “Impulse” : un homme vous offre des fleurs.

Chimene >> Déjà que les aveugles mettent du déo en faisant un S et en gonflant leurs biceps, c’est déjà un progrès pour l’humanité. Alors si en prime ils se tapent deux gonzesses, je dis : “y’a plus de justice”…
12

Epictete nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 17:58 []

Voilà, encore des généralités. Tous les mecs qui sentent bon naturellement seraient des violeurs. C’est insupportable.
13

procrastin nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 19:30 []

Houla, c’est HYPER dangeureux ton truc là : extrêmement inflammable, ne pas percer ou bruler, ne pas vaporiser vers les yeux, procéder par de brêves pression, ne pas laisser à la portée des enfants, utiliser dans une pièce ventilées…

D’ailleurs, si tu mouilles la bombe, ca te colle des boutons bleus sur le torse ( “un Z qui veut dire zona” ). Et tu feras tellement peur que les filles mettront deux petites culottes et deux soutiens-gorge quand elles auront un rendez-vous avec toi…
14

caelle nous dit :
Le 01/02/2006 à 20:35 []

ok, pour programmer, mais ma question était pourquoi ton post de 4h26 était disponible à 4h16 (heure à laquelle il est apparu, à laquelle je l’ai lu et à laquelle j’ai mis mon comm’). Par conséquent, d’où vient cette différence de 10 mn, hein? Informaticiens de tout poil, j’exige une réponse (surtout que ce ne sont pas dix minutes de retard, ce sont dix minutes d’avance)
Parce que moi, parfois, j’écris en pleine nuit (je vis sur mon propre fuseau horaire en fait) et donc j’ai pu constater cette anomolie en direct.
Oui, je sais, les gens normaux dorment à cette heure-là et c’est pour ça qu’on est peinard pour travailler et se concentrer (y a pas de tentations ni de parasites - bons ou mauvais - on est obligé de faire ce qu’on a à faire)