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L’arrêt au port
Le 22/02/2006 - 01:53

Ah voilà l’bateau.

Si cette phrase n’évoque rien pour vous, ce billet vous éclairera sûrement.

Après un long périple, le bateau est enfin amarré. Et l’ancre solidement enfoncée dans les sables marins où les crabes primesautiers et frivoles se repaissent de plancton et de mazout.

Les remerciements

Je voudrais d’abord remercier intensément (difficile de décrire des remerciements intenses. Hmm… Imaginez que vous êtes aux toilettes en train de pousser violemment. Ôtez les odeurs et l’objectif pour lequel vous êtes dans cette pièce, vous obtenez l’intensité. Rajoutez “merci !” et vous y êtes) tous ceux qui ont collaboré à ce projet.

Et je les cite volontiers : Abs, le fils de Abs, Sébastien, Epictete, Caelle, Tant-Bourrin, Saoulfifre, Macache, Manu, Julia, Ramon, Stéphanie, Jérémie, mon père, ma mère (et pas mes frères et mes soeurs wohhwohhoo).

Mes excuses (dixit l’autre cinglé)

Malheureusement, et j’en suis vraiment désolé, je n’ai pas pu intégrer les versions de certains d’entre vous. C’est injuste, honni sois-je, à qui le dis-tu, ainsi soit-il.

Je mets donc vos exploits ici, en vrac.

Epictete (avec preuve d’appel) - 0:24

Saoulfifre (mimétisme avec tes poules ?) - 0:14

Seb (je suis dég, la mélodie est top mais impossible à caser) - 0:14

Mon père (mais vous avez déjà eu la bombe atomique) - 0:16

Caelle (trop dur aussi à caser, la musique surchargeait trop) - 0:09

La pochette

Parce qu’un bon album se vend si et seulement si la pochette est évocatrice.

Et maintenant, musique !

Je préviens juste que :

  • La musique dure 7:13 (ah oui c’est long)
  • Le fichier fait 13,1 Mo si vous comptez le télécharger (ah oui c’est long)
  • Le son est délibérément fort, pour vous éviter de vous coller aux enceintes. De toute façon, cette musique doit être écoutée à tue-tête !
  • Je me suis fait plaisir, il se peut que cette musique ne plaise qu’à moi…

Le bateau (original pure sound radio edit mix) - 7:13

Pour le télécharger, c’est ici.

Le bêtisier

Et vous avez raté ça…

Julia - premier essai - 0:06

Julia - deuxième essai - 0:13

Manu is Bruce Springsteen - 0:06

Le bateau est mort ce soir - 0:52

Oh oui découpe-moi (t’es con version) ! - 0:08

Oh oui découpe-moi (connard version) ! - 0:08

Oh oui découpe-moi ! - 0:15

Le bateau du PSG - 0:13

Tant-Bourrin se bouche le nez et imite Beethoven - 0:14

Le gnome de Abs - 0:05

Abs tambourrine (Attention, nouveau talent !) - 0:16

25 commentaires

  1. 1
    Twig nous dit :

    C’était GE NIAL !!! J’ai beaucoup ri. Bravo à tous les artistes ! L’idée est excellente.

  2. 2
    caelle nous dit :

    Enfin!!!!
    Un: Super, le boulot que ça a dû être, bravo!
    Deux: trop tard pour tout écouter… je vais me coucher… j’écoute tout demain… :)
    Trois: Story of my life… dès qu’il y a un collectif, on m’exclue… je vais virer parano, moi à force…. Comment ça, la musique surchargeait trop…!!! Elle a bon dos, la musique!!!
    Recommence, t’as bâclé…. ;)
    Je veux mon nom sur la pochette, moi, Monsieur!!! :) )
    Moralité: Pour être sûr(e) d’avoir son nom sur la pochette du disque toujours sans se prendre la tête avec la technique (qui merde toujours, c’est bien connu… amis programmateurs, informatciens de tout crin, bonsoir ;) , faut pas chanter, faut pas mixer, faut pas composer…. faut produire et être le(la) patron(ne)…!!!! :) ) Ah vivement… ou comment on tourne quelqu’un de violemment “communiste” dans l’âme en violemment “capitaliste” par réaction…! ;)
    oui, oui, je fais des raccourcis osés, on me le dit tout le temps, je sais, mais à y réfléchir, eh ben, dans le fond, ce n’est pas complètement faux…
    Félicitations pour ton disque.
    et… dis donc, monsieur le capitaliste…;) ce n’est pas en bossant autant et en mettant le disque en téléchargement libre que tu vas commencer à gagner de l’argent avec le fruit de ton dur labeur… ;) :)
    mais si tu t’es amusé, c’est le principal, n’est-ce pas?

  3. 3
    caelle nous dit :

    bon, je me suis dédite… j’ai écouté le résultat… je ne sais pas si c’est un truc pour aller dormir mais en tout cas, c’est VACHEMENT BIEN!!!!! :)
    carrément zarb, archi rigolo, ça passera nulle part, t’as raison de le mettre en téléchargement libre ;)
    c’est trop rigolo… même le perroq’ a aimé et c’est un public dur…!
    en plus, avec sept minutes treize, tu peux critiquer Prince mais y a jamais une radio qui te diffiusera ta chanson complète, ça rentre pas dans les grilles…. tu leur foutrais en l’air leur conducteur… et l’animateur se ferait virer… à moins qu’il soit trois heures du mat… l’heure des routiers et des insomniaques… et où un type seul dans un studio parle à tous ceux qui sont sur les routes et que tous tiennent au café pour ne pas s’endormir… :)
    bon au dodo, parce que sinon, je vais poser des questions sur le logiciel, le temps de fabrication, l’origine des samples et tout et tout… :)

  4. 4
    Yves nous dit :

    Le marketing est “à chier” je trouve. Pas de photo de femme sur la pochette, donc les hommes n’achèteront pas. Et il n’y a pas ta photo non plus, donc les femmes n’achèteront pas. Quand comprendras-tu qu’il te faut te mettre au même rang que Sinatra ou Julio Iglesias, que tu es fait pour les faire fondre ? Tu trouves vraiment que c’est érotique le gilet de sauvetage, ou simplement suggestif, ou encore de nature à susciter le rêve ?

  5. 5
    Tant-Bourrin nous dit :

    Comment qu’il déchire pas la mort de sa race ce skeud !!! Punaise, ça y est, je vais être célèbre et pété de thunes ! Quand c’est qu’on touche les premières royalties ? :)

  6. 6
    macache nous dit :

    Malheur ! dire que je t’ai abandonné mes droits ! Je me suis torpillé moi-même …

  7. 7
    Salomé nous dit :

    Alors là, je sais vraiment pas comment tu as pu faire ça, mais c’est absolument génial. A quand la sortie du deuxième album ?

  8. 8
    Sébastien nous dit :

    Quel disque ! 7′13 de bonheur. La prochaine fois, j’envoie voix sérieuse pour avoir le plaisir de figurer sur la pochette aux cotés de grands noms de la chanson françise ;)

  9. 9
    caelle nous dit :

    comment ça, marketing pochette raté???? moi, pas d’accord, quand tu prends un bateau, eh ben, le gilet de sauvetage est indispensable! car eh ben, y a des zones où l’eau est froide (et pas seulement chez les pingouins et les manchots.. y a des zones où tu tombes à l’eau, et en 10 minutes, tu meurs…. Alors le gilet de sauvetage c’est indispensable pour ne pas couler à pic (on nage mal avec des chaussures, on se débat et on se fatigue) et tous ceux qui ont fait des sports d’eau le savent, tu sais jamais quand tu vas t’assommer, alors le gilet de sauvetage, c’est ce que tu mets en premier avant de chausser le ski/le wakeboard/monter sur la planche/monter dans le bateau à voile/à moteur/monter sur le jetski (sauf que ces derniers, z’ont pas bien réalisé qu’ils étaient mortels et que les autres aussi.
    Donc pochette super!!!! c’est un truc de flippés, on leur dit bateau ils pensent gilet de sauvetage…
    et moi, sérieux, je trouve ça plus gai que la référence de la génération de mon grand-père (”je vois les choses derrière les choses… quand je veux peindre un baigneur, je peins un noyé” une réplique de Prévert, dans un film de Carné)… J’y peux rien, c’est trop triste, c’est trop désespéré.
    A ce jour, c’est un sujet de discorde… (un truc de cinéphiles, on a tellement de films qu’on aime en commun, il ne comprend pas que les désespérés, c’est pas mon truc…!)

    et pour raccrocher le tout, Yves, tu vois que le gilet de sauvetage est indispensable, Macache avoue qu’il s’est torpillé lui-même, vite, un gilet, et manoeuvre dite de l’homme à la mer… y a un nom, c’est celui du type qui l’a estampillé, mais là, si je relis mon code maritime, eh ben, je n’en finis plus et on va pas comprendre pourquoi je veux retrouver le nom de cette manoeuvre et pourquoi je me casse les pieds avec un truc qui n’amuse que moi ;)

  10. 10
    Saoulfifre nous dit :

    Super, vraiment ! Je donne pas longtemps pour que la pochette devienne un collector, et le morceau, LE tube de fin d’hiver dans les boîtes chauffées !! Beau boulot, t’es augmenté !

  11. 11
    Epictete nous dit :

    Ca va pas se passer comme ça! Y’a pas mon nom sur la pochette. Ca va devenir LE DISQUE qui a fini de ruiner mon blog. Me faire ça, à moi! Hoooooo put…….la haine!!!

  12. 12
    Yves nous dit :

    Caelle > le gilet de sauvetage ne sauvera pas l’album, je suis formel. Tu imagines bruel arriver sur scène seulement avec un gilet de sauvetage… sans son kangourou ? Je n’y crois pas. Tu penses que les minettes vont crier, pleurer, allumer les briquets ?

  13. 13
    Yves nous dit :

    Je suis presque sûr de mon fait. Il n’y a pas la photo de Byalpel. Et donc il n’y a pas une fan qui puisse s’humecter, ne serait-ce que jusqu’aux genoux, avec une pochette pareille. C’est foutu.

  14. 14
    Pascal nous dit :

    ça me fout les crougnons de pas avoir de mike…vraiment excellent…dis je dois en faire combien des tours?

  15. 15
    caelle nous dit :

    justement, c’est parce que ce n’est pas bassement commercial que c’est bien. Rien ne l’obligeait à le faire, rien ne nous obligeait à y participer, il a fait jusqu’au bout et il nous l’a montré et nous sommes venus l’écouter et en parler.
    Et c’est ça, le plus important :)
    que quelque chose soit nécessaire, agréable, imparfait, sympa, se faire plaisir et faire plaisir aux autres, partager. Bravo. Il a raison, il a sauvé son blog puisqu’il nous a réunis pour y participer, l’encourager, le féliciter, nous moquer gentiment de lui et parler du résultat. Et justement alors que nous sommes un certain nombre à ne même pas les connaître.
    On était pas forcés de venir et on est venus quand même et on est restés.
    Big round of applause for a job well-done to Byalpel!!!! :)
    hip hip hip hourra!
    ‘tain, faut applaudir quand les gens se sont donnés du mal…! et pas poliment! Faut encourager avant et remercier après.
    Vous allez applaudir, oui ou merde? :) :) :)

  16. 16
    christelle nous dit :

    Le bateau, le bateau, voilà le bateau … c’est très joli ; allez, refaites-le moi avec “voilà le métro” et je serai super contente !
    Quand même, j’applaudis des deux mains ! Bravo à toute l’équipe.

  17. 17
    Byalpel nous dit :

    Twig >> Merci beaucoup

    Caelle >> Je vais t’embaucher comme répondeur automatique toi ! Merci en tout cas pour tes encouragements.

    Yves >> “Listen without prejudice” est le meilleur album de George Michael (après “Faith”) –> il en avait marre qu’on achète ses disques juste parce qu’il était beau. Tu vois le lien :-) ?

    TB >> Ben faut diffuser maintenant. Parce que pour l’instant, vu le temps passé, c’est toi qui me dois du fric :-)

    Macache >> T’inquiète on n’est pas chien chez les Byalpel, on te filera un CD gratos.

    Salomé >> Welcome aboard. Et merci ! Comme disait Fernandel (ou équivalent) : “mais ce ne sont que quelques pâtes…”

    Seb >> Ouais, ça m’a fait de la peine de te couper (encore une fois !!! :-) )

    Saoulfifre >> Merci chef. Tu auras ta part du gâteau quand je descendrai sur la côté avec les mallettes pleines…

    Epictete >> J’ai écouté ton message, je lis ton comm. Et je te réponds : même pas peur. Si tu continues à essayer de m’intimider, je refais sauter une centrale AZF près de chez toi !

    Pascal >> Assez de tours pour t’acheter un micro et jouer pour la prochaine !!!

    Caelle 4 >> Merci de me défendre hein :) En fait, Yves plaisante, pas la peine de le prendre au 1er degré :)

    Christelle >> Si j’ai le temps, je te le fais (contre 20 400 €). Au passage, comment tu applaudirais d’une seule main ?

  18. 18
    sandra nous dit :

    BRAVO !!!!!

  19. 19
    ab6 nous dit :

    haaa j’adore la pochette “sauvetor” ! bravo! j’ai pas eu le temps d’écouter ttlemonde mais je suis sure que c bien…!

  20. 20
    Byalpel nous dit :

    sandra >> MERCI !!!!!

    ab6 >> ben t’as pas encore écouté LA CHANSON ou quoi ?

  21. 21
    Yaelz nous dit :

    c’est de la bombe, Byalpel!

    Heureusement que j’ai rien eu le temps d’envoyer- je suis sure que tu m’aurais recaler, enflure!

  22. 22
    ab6 nous dit :

    ca arrête pas de sauter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    mais c’que j’ai entenu est BONnARD, ca va faire un malheur. c’est sur.

  23. 23
    Byalpel nous dit :

    Yaelz >> Merci. Oh l’aut le procès d’intention qu’elle me fait !

    Abs >> Bizerre. Sinon télécharge le gros fichier, y’a un lien pour ça. Faut vraiment tout t’apprendre sur l’ordi toi…

  24. 24
    sandra nous dit :

    Tout qui marche !!! BRAVO !!! ALLEZ LE BATEAU (est-ce normal l’addiction “Au Bateau”, j’ai mis un maillot de bain deux pièces ???)

  25. 25
    Byalpel nous dit :

    Sandra >> Merci ! Oui l’addiction est normale, pour ma part je l’écoute en boucle toute la journée. Par contre, pour le maillot, ça me semble bizarre. Envoie la photo pour voir ? :-)

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